Because how else does one attach excessive amounts of fireworks to a board?
First you do the actual attaching of fireworks to boards.
Then you go ride your bike all day. I rode this scary log thing, and given my mortal fear of logs, I'm darn proud of me.
Then you go to the picnic, byob. Who brought the damn athlete to the party??
Then Ed's cousin Rob makes the little kids churn ice cream. And forgets how to count as he's counting off their ten rotations...
Definitely the most popular guy around right now
Dee hands out the sparklers.
And then, things go boom.