One of the great things about my funemployment was that I didn't have to commute. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy riding my bike, but there are places I would rather ride than Boston. Anyway, one of the joys of my commute around this time of year is the section that passes BU, when all the freshmen are moving in. I don't know whats worse, the hordes of freshmen standing in the middle of the road, their parents triple parked in their SUVs, the traffic clusterf***s that result from said triple parking, or the sudden influx of hipsters on brakeless bikes. Anyway, I came up with a solution: The freshman catcher! Sort of like a cow catcher, only, possibly electrified. Maybe I'll just start carrying a cow prod.