When I take the bus, I tend to pick up a Metro (the local free paper) to do the crossword. I usually skim the headlines, but my expectations are never too high that there will be anything other than Massachusetts policy stuff. This, however, blew me away.
"Woman pried loose after two years on toilet". Front page news, right there.
"Wichita, Kan. Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years--so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the boyfriend finally called the police..."